I came here to start a new life, yet the birth pangs caught me off guard, clutching my insides with more force than I thought possible. It took my former self and previous life and twisted it, releasing my fears and insecurities in an unexpected flood. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how much of the past I had been holding onto. It’s taken some time to see clearly — one thing is for sure: birth is a messy process.
i’m the type
who doesn’t like
to make the same mistake twice
it’s a waste of time
i make it again
to be sure
i’m making it right
image credit: ”How Do I Fix You?” by ricochet188
Somehow things feel different. I feel changed — in a good way. My love for you has always been there, even before I recognized it. And it grows. It washes over me like waves of peace when we hold each other.
In my heart, the world is turning, with it’s myriads of events and circumstances. There’s suspense, contemplation, apprehension, and hope, yet I know everything is going to be alright. It’s the kind of peace that comes from trusting that every encounter and every experience that occurs is part of a design that’s running smoothly, regardless of the emotions that arise. Even when I’m in pain, there’s a sense that it will resolve.
The road before us doesn’t shine without the rain; there’s new color and depth now. It’s an unsung facet of love that I’m only just now learning to see.
What’s it like to fall in love?
Love means different things to different people, so it depends.
What does it mean to you?
Every once in awhile, you meet someone you react to. Something about this person is special, but you can’t figure out exactly what it is. It’s almost like being around them makes you glow — even thinking about them, or just seeing a picture of them makes you glow inside.
And you feel something else too. It’s the wish to preserve this wonderful feeling, because you know trying to grab onto it could crush it. And trying to enclose it could make it wither and fade. So you feel almost reverent of this glow, and this person that brings these feelings out in you. You begin to question your purpose, because now one of your life’s missions is to figure out the proper way to move through your existence. You’re suddenly aware of the respectful distance that people need to maintain between themselves; you want to be close enough to appreciate their inner beauty, but also leave enough space to allow the freedom to grow and fully experience life.
Your admiration grows when you realize that this person is teaching you with unspoken words. Your heart is learning happiness, and you want to be a better person. You feel both desire and detachment, but most of all your heart is overflowing with gratitude.
i recall when speaking was easy
like driving a spike into the trunk of a tree
tasting the sap, drop by drop
until i understood the essence of you
i remember taking a glance
not to discern facts, but to experience your eyes
falling in, then becoming immersed
until i swam in the thought of you
i can imagine your breadth
in the manner of a circle
enveloping, and being enveloped
until i find solace through you
image credit: “Solace and Explanation” by slayryder
(featured on Whisper of a Memory 4/25/13)